Beverley & District Motor Club

7.15 Sunday morning. I’m on my way to Bolton-le-Moors autotest. Wending my way through Raywell and approaching Braffords Hall, I was suddenly confronted by the back end of a Volvo 850, with some natty dayglo paintwork and very pretty blue and red lights, parked in the middle of the road. I was hoping it wasn’t a trailer check. The smart young man in the uniform looked unusually apologetic about blocking the road as I pulled up behind his company car. "Just testing the road surface", he explained as I powered down the window. "There’s been a lot of accidents just here" he went on. "So we’re testing the cohesive quality of the road surface to see if it’s that". December 1996 flashed through my mind. "Ah yes", I replied, "I’ve seen a few cars in that field over there"(not to mention the Cavalier that took down some of Mr Rawson’s fencing plus a road sign at this very spot in 1996!). He looked relieved to find someone who appeared to be supporting his reason for obstructing the Queen’s Highway in the pursuit of science.

He went on to explain they had a car without ABS which they were using to test the road surface for skidding. By this time a couple of other cars had pulled up behind me (what the hell are people doing out at that time on a Sunday morning?). Plod looked even more uncomfortable and kept craning his neck to see if the car had finished. In the distance I heard the squealing of tyres and held my breath waiting for the bang and tinkling of glass. It didn’t come.

An hour and 45 minutes later I pulled into the British Aerospace car park at Lostock near Bolton. There was a good entry of 36 competitors, many of them BTRDA players. Competition would be tough!

Bolton le Moors are notorious for their lengthy tests, and this event was no exception. The venue gives them a lot of room to play with. The sheer length of the tests make it very difficult to memorise them so it’s important to walk them as many times as possible. With 3 test sites to learn, this became more like a marathon! I probably spent the best part of 45 minutes walking all three tests before the driver’s meeting was called. That done, we headed off to get our cars. However, there was one very unhappy competitor in the shape of Dave Mallet from Loughborough Club. He was heading our 1100 cc saloon class A and was clearly expecting the organisers to follow the format they adopted last year, which was to run the classes in reverse order, i.e. set off class F first , the specials. Horror soon overtook him when he realised he would have to show us all the way! When I pulled up at test one behind Dave’s empty Mini I suddenly realised he was walking the test again. The length of the test meant this exercise would take some time and the rest of us were getting impatient. I did contemplate offering to go first, but thought better of it. There’s a distinct disadvantage to going first, everyone else can watch where you make mistakes.

Eventually Dave got into his car and drove the test. His washout didn’t surprise any of us, but it was a little unnerving for me to follow. The only thing that annoyed me was the engine fluffing as I pulled of the line, especially having sat there all that time waiting my turn. Fortunately it cleared after a short while.

My time was fastest in class which surprised me as the Darkin brothers, Paddy and Nick, were competing in my class and they usually clean-up the class on most events. By test three Dave Mallet had picked up two washouts and I was ten seconds ahead of the Darkins.

By lunchtime we’d completed 6 tests (well, some of us had!). Dave Mallet hadn’t picked up any more washouts on our second run of the three tests, but had collected a 5 second penalty. Mind you, so had I. Trying too hard on test 6 saw me reverse into a cone with the resultant penalty and allowing Paddy Darkin into the lead of Class A.

We thought the morning tests were difficult, but the afternoon gave us no respite. The third test site proved too much for a lot of competitors, many of them getting washouts on it. As we lined up to start the afternoon, Dave Mallet was missing again! This time I wasn’t prepared to wait. Having got the test memorised and with each minute passing by, I felt it was ebbing out of my head. The marshal was happy for me to kick off the proceedings so in I went! It was one of the longest tests of the day and my 1.36.1 ended up a very respectable time. You can always tell by the faces of the watching competitors if it’s a good time. Very interesting. The only one to beat it in my class was Paddy Darkin. Their 1071 ‘S’ motor pulls revs an 1100 can only dream of. It’s a fit motor.

The dreaded third test of the afternoon duly arrived. As I positioned Heepy on the start line, people were still walking it trying to cram it’s complexities into their heads. Amazing how they all cleared the site as I arrived to initiate it. Quite unnerving to have so many fellow competitor’s waiting to see if I would fall down! It had no less than 7 changes of direction whilst on the move. There was also no real flow to it, Halfway round I successfully completed a particularly difficult flick from forward to reverse immediately followed by a stop-astride gate. Whilst mentally patting myself on the back for this manoeuvre, I suddenly realised I didn’t know where the hell I wanted to be next! The extra shot of adrenaline fired the memory banks up again and, with the loss of probably a second, I successfully completed the test. I don’t think anyone noticed my pause so more interesting faces at the finish!

The rest of the afternoon went well with no major problems other than the ever increasing gap between myself and Paddy Darkin. He was uncatchable, ending up first in class 27 seconds ahead of me after 12 (l-o-n-g) tests. Under the circumstances I was happy to keep his brother Nick 14.7 seconds behind me and take second in class and 14th overall in what was a high quality entry. Dave Mallet? He came 6th (out of 6) in class and 27th overall. I don’t think he enjoyed the day too much! The famous Grimes brothers took first and second overall in their Mini Special ending up 0.9 seconds apart. It don’t get much closer!

Sadly for the organisers, lots of competitors, me included, had to depart before the awards could be presented as the day was getting rather late. Ireland and Wales seeming to make my hour and 45 minutes home something of a doddle. The organisers were a new team and promised shorter and more typical tests for next year. I must admit, providing the tests were completed successfully, I found them quite rewarding. Something approaching a short tarmac rally stage! Dream on H!